A poetic response to Jamie Jancović’s A Woman on the Internet (or, The Eternal Scream), hosted on The White Pube for Jancovic’s residency in June 2021.
Stills from A Woman on the Internet, Jamie Jancović (2021)
It is intensely.
The is-ness of it, really very much is, very intensely is.
Upsetting in the way that looking in a mirror is, like is,
like, wow, fuck.
Polished Glass – 1 – Sentient Superbeing – 0
Thinking of it in terms of wow
And stay with me here
Thinking of it in terms of
Now watch what I say very carefully…
In terms of the amount of time you’ll spend (me)
Walking around in fakeland paying
20p for a hat, and then you’ve got your hat on,
fated to die in the hands of the legacy of patriarchs who designed hell for us
in the image of a ballroom in which the romance parts of the movie play out
and then a parlour room where there’s a card table covered in trick packs,
you know, like what normal life is. like
where you wear the hat and walk in to the post office
with fifteen wrapped apples going mealy and you ask
how much it is to send them all to your own
And they look at you with that hateful look of, what are you? You disgust me.
That’s normal life in 21st century Britain,
Just big awful screams coming out from the mouth of a train tunnel,
and you don’t know
if it’s going to be a huge leg or something that emerges.
But instead it’s you, bloodied, like the end of Train to Busan
And you’re just waiting for the fuckers to shoot you,
so don’t worry. Don’t worry about it.
But we all do, all of the time, we’re all the kind of worry that
you get when you touch an electric fence and you’re like, shit!
why didn’t I check, to see if it was electric
there’s cows out here
we love electrocuting those fuckers.
It’s a very normal and sensible reaction to the fact and
perhaps the most reasonable way to even approach it
is to let it wash over you,
in a very calming and relaxing manner
waiting for the beat to match up to the two symbols
overlapping, and when they do,
casually activating win. and smiling.
I did that.
there is no losing if you don’t play by the rules.
I should punch up George Lucas
Rules, there is no. wait.
there’s follow the rules or no rules,
THERE IS NO LOSE